I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
