I am in a vortex of obligation.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
