I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
