I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
