yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
