I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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