Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
two words: eviction party
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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