Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you would pick up someone in the library
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
