Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
