Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
