I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
