I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
