I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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