Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
