note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
