Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
