Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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