Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
