If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
