i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
