I've blown a few things in my day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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