it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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