White coat. Heels.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
