i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
