the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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