how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
