Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
