would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
