So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
