Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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