We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
