I cannot find my penis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
