I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Are we still banned from the library?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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