Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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