Swine flu. Run for my life!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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