Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
