btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
