who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
