need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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