she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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