yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
