The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
