Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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