THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
