We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
