She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
