Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
