i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
