Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
