You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
