so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
