you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why do cheetos always look like penises
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
