Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
