I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
