I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I did not marry a roomba.
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