my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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