He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
