He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
